I never thought I would be blogging about my personal life like this but here I am again. It's not to cause discomfort among others or to gain sympathy, instead I've found this to be a great way to deal with the past and it feels right. Also from the feedbacks I've received for my past blogs, I've come to know that truth can indeed be inspiring.
As my cover video of November Rain recently reached over 100K views, some bitter-sweet memories came alive. I feel the need to get it off my chest.
The day I recorded the cover video for November Rain I was in a tremendous pain. But behind that pain lies another story which now I think is hilarious and funny.
It's funny because I was probably in the worst shape possible: mentally and physically at the time. And so I sang, not with much effort but it felt right to play whatever came to my mind at the moment. However, the video's been getting good views every year or so and people seem to like it the most out of all my videos I’ve ever uploaded in the mighty world of YouTube.
You can watch the video here: Guns N' Roses- November Rain Acoustic
(If all my videos were like us normal human beings, the rest of them videos would have been very jealous of this one as it was made with the least effort and it was never meant for such mass consumption in the first place).
While for the other videos there were numerous hours spent to get the right take, this one was done in a single take. My recently recovered arm wouldn't let me do more takes even if I had wished.
The day I recorded this video it had been 3 days since I had removed the cast off my right arm which had been broken for over six weeks then. The muscles in my arms had become quite stiff it could barely function. (That same day later came in a guy at the convenient store where I used to work and asked me where the restroom was. Excited to use my arms, I tried to point towards the restroom but ended up directing 45 degrees south of it, towards the walking cooler. He went in through the doors of the walking cooler but I couldn't utter a single word to stop him because my arms were hurting like hell).
My arms had been in the cast for over six weeks after I cracked my elbow on a rough concrete on a night of a bus party where we were being driven around the town of Dallas like crazies.
Three days before the bus party, the woman who I thought was the girl of my dreams said she never wanted to see me again. Ever! Not going into too much detail about what had happened between the ex-woman of my dreams and myself, the one thing I can tell is: subconsciously I must have been looking for some trouble after I got ditched by her.
So here we were in a party bus that night. I was having a blast with my ‘homeboys'. My band was supposed to play later that night after we got off the bus.
Before we got on the bus, me and a very good friend of mine had secretly decided to get high on ecstasy before we got into the bus. Afterwards, while the friend was going through a real bad trip I was getting hysterically high.
I was pretty stoked to sing later that night, but my throat felt dry. My mind decided it needed more booze in order for my throat to be lubricated.
When I went to grab a drink the only thing left in the cooler was a Four Loco. (Four Loco is beverage very common among homeless Americans and it is a worst combination of high level alcohol and caffeine). I hate the taste of Four Loco but my mouth was dry and so I chugged it all at once.
Twenty four ounces is a lot of liquid. My urinary bladder wasn't able to handle all that so it made me ask the bus driver to stop at the nearest Gas Station. He said 'We almost there brah'. He seemed cool.
We were going out to a lake area where we were supposed to do a BBQ along with a bonfire and people were supposed to hear my band play a few songs later that night. But honestly I don't think anyone really remembered there was a band in the bus anymore. I hardly did.
It took us almost an eternity to reach the lake. When the bus stopped, I pushed through the crowd to be the first one to get off. Unfortunately, I was only the second because another homeboy's urinary bladder was full before mine.
He got off and started running, and I was gonna follow him. However when I stepped down the bus, the cold wind propelled me above the stratosphere and I was soon bouncing on the moon. The other person had vanished in a deep space and all I saw was a black hole and a few stars calling me from a distance. I was flying at the speed of light and I was very much enjoying it.
Suddenly, the slo-mo view of the outer space got over in a split second after I was stopped by a miniature fence that my foot had stumbled upon.
I was falling and I was back in the earth again. My face was landing on the ground but my strong reflex decided my right elbow should be the hero which saved my face by an inch. (My nose also wants to thank my elbow at this point for its courageous deed as it wouldn't exist today if it had broken for a second time that night).
From then until my arms recovered I was pretty pathetic for all kinds of reason. But mostly for pathetic reasons. Regardless of my mental or physical we played shows every week and that kept me going for the time being. But I always missed playing my guitar. While singing I would mostly be hiding my arms from the audience. It was very uncomfortable experience as I had never performed a song without playing guitars. And I'm really not sure if people ever wondered why my limb had become a fixed L-shaped one.
It was also the support from my sister and my bandmates helped me be strong at most times other wise I would have surely given up.
Six week after the bus party when the doctor took the cast off my arms I was nervous to ask him if it would be a good idea or not to start playing guitars immediately. And to my surprise he said it would be a good form of physical therapy, since I couldn't afford a real one anyway.
So after a couple of days I sat down in front of my camcorder wanting to see how it looked when I moved my now recovered but stiff limbs. Soon afterwards, for some reason I decided to sing then and there. I also decided to dedicate my singing to this girl who I still thought was the woman of my dreams at the time. And so I sang.
I sang the last line 'Nothing lasts for ever, even a cold November rain'. A true statement indeed. I probably chose this song to sing because it had now become a story of my own life and I had to learn to live with it.
(P.S. I have been drug free since last year and I’ve only used such things strictly for recreational purposes only.
Guns N Roses is my all time favorite band and I'm thrilled to hear the news of the reunion. I'm looking forward to see them live sometime in the near future).